They also serve who only stand and wait

At the morning rounds with the docs it was reported that Michalla’s condition is continuing to worsen as expected.   For the last 24 hours she has been sleeping relatively calmly but with some pain.  She was much less aware yesterday than the day before.  She opened her eyes 5 or 6 times when we called her name.  She also squeezed Teri’s hand a few times during the night.  She groans in pain when we have to move her even a little bit and still is aware enough at times to be bothered when her mouth is being cleaned of drool.  The main two numbers we are focusing on are 1)  K (potassium) and 2) BUN (blood urea nitrogen).  The higher the BUN is, the less Michalla is with us cognitively.  That number is literally off the charts and still climbing.  The higher the K, the more likely her heart will start failing.  Her K was at 6.5 this morning and 5.9 twelve hours before that.  The docs say that 7 is where we will probably start seeing the effects on her heart.

Yesterday was a day of laughing, crying and accepting.  Every so often Teri says “I can’t believe this is happening”.   Rich said “this is something that happens to other people”.  We are all trying to wrap our brains around the reality of what is going on.  Emotions run the gamut.

Here are some of the goings on here in the PICU:

Logan and Meagan both said their goodbyes to Michalla one on one. First Megan, then Logan.  When Logan came out of the room someone mentioned that he should tell Michalla to lead him to a good spouse from beyond.  Logan exclaimed, “don’t worry, I told her that already”.  (He also asked her to help America to win the world cup btw J).

Kim’s (Michalla’s step mom) kids came to say goodbye as well as my kids (Danny – Michalla’s step dad).  Whitney wrote Michalla a poem and read it to her through tears.

We received over a hundred emails with stories about Michalla. Thank you all so much!  We have been reading them to her and laughing and crying (major story theme:  Michalla's mix of "sweet" and "spunky" attitude).

Michalla’s 6 year old cancer friend Lilly visited.  She couldn’t come in the room because of her cancer so she waived through the window to us from the sidewalk below.  We then went down to see her in the lobby and she gave us a guardian Angel stuffed bear to give to Michalla.  Michalla was Lilly’s hero and helped her through so many tough times like when Lilly started to lose her hair. They used to go on walks together in the cancer ward and Lilly now does the nurses nails and wears leggings just like Michalla.  Lilly was told about Michalla’s situation this morning in a family home evening.  She was sad but she took it well.  Her parents talked to her about the plan of salvation and that they will see her again.  Lilly said she wants to come to the funeral and plant a Lilly at her gravesite.  Seeing Lilly today was extremely hard on Teri.  Teri does not understand why in the big picture The Lord had to take Michalla from Lilly but she has faith there is some good reason for it.  Teri told Lilly’s mom that half of her prayers were pleading that the Lord not take Michalla from Lilly.

Around 7 or 8 last night we were sitting around Michalla and all of the sudden Teri was stricken with grief and asked that we pray.  We held hands around her bed as Rich gave a wonderful spirit filled prayer that was so sweet.  Later on Teri and Rich caressed Michalla’s face sitting on either side of the bed and told her how much they loved her and will miss her. They thanked her for being such an awesome daughter and example and just talked and cried for several minutes just having a conversation with her. It was heart breaking and beautiful.

Last night Teri slept with Michalla again and held her hand through the night.  Several times Teri whispered in her ear that is was ok to stop fighting. I woke up at 3 am and came over and rubbed Teri’s back and legs.  I was struck with the tortuous process that she is being subjected to of sleeping with and waiting for your daughter to die.

Clint slept in chair a in the corner last night.  When we were eating dinner with Clint, Teri looked at his phone and noticed his wedding countdown that is the screensaver on his phone.  He said he is so torn whether to take it off or not.

Cambri and Faith spend the evening with their grandma Vicki making cookies and helping them write down their memories of Michalla. Faith was in shock when her grandma said she could eat as many cookies as she wanted in celebration of Michalla’s life.  Cambri hasn’t been able to write down her memories because it is too hard right now.

Ps Happy Friday the 13th!

Pps Please send more memories and pics for the funeral book to teribeardall@msn.com.

Ppps Meagan is currently painting Michalla’s nails one last time.