Monday, June 9, 2014

Keeps getting harder

Such a long day yesterday as the news settled in.  We are having a meeting today at 11 with all the big chiefs of all the departments to decide what to do and what plan to take.  Every plan isn't without risk. (Big risk).

Lows of the last 24 hrs:

 Michalla saying she can't do this anymore.
 Michalla asking the doctor if she was going to die and him answering he doesn't know.
Michalla not having controls of her bowels, and her watching them clean up her bedding with tears running down her cheeks saying she is so embarrassed.
Seeing Michalla in so much pain.
Having the ICU doctor tell me Michalla's organs are shutting down is the path toward dying.
Sitting in on rounds and having them say they have one last ditch effort to try and save her life but it is extremely risky.
Having docs tell me we need to have a talk with Michalla to see what her wishes are about being kept alive on life support.


Highs of the last 24 hrs:

Michalla asking me to lay by her and having them painfully move her over to make room for me on her bed.
Laying by Michalla for the last 4 hours holding her hand.
Michalla telling me I have been a good mom.
Logan and Megan showing so much love toward their sister and such emotion.
Logan giving Michalla a hug good bye and Michalla wanting to adjust her arms so she could actually put her arms around him too and not just have him hug her.
Support and love from family and friends.

Im sorry this is short but I don't have the emotional energy to say much more or go into many more details.  The only thing that can save Michalla's life now is a miracle.

5 comments:

  1. We are always here for you Teri.We love you guys so much and wish for Michalla to be out of her pain and suffering. We will keep praying for a miracle and be here for you every step of the way. God will calm the storm. Xoxoxo

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  2. Hi Teri, I'm related to Lilly, when her mom tiffany writes on Michalla, your daughters site, it shows on mine. So I hope you don't feel like I am imposing if I just write you a note. I just feel like that I need to tell you that you are an exceptionally, wonderful mother to Michalla. Your daughter wanting to have you right beside her is testimony of that. I don't even know you yet we share the same name and I have to say you are an example to the rest of the Teris in the world, thank you. I also want you to know that I can tell that Michalla has such a mature spirit. I know you are proud of her. Your daughter has a lot of trust in her Heavenly Father. Having said that I would keep doing what you are doing and trust what Michalla wants as hard as that might be and put all your faith in Heavenly Father. Thank you to Michalla for healing so many hearts especially lilly. I will put her and your names in the temple prayer roll. Loves

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  3. Our Love and prayers go out to each of you at this hard time in your life. We know miracles happen, but we also know that a loving Heavenly Father is in charge and knows what is his plan for each of us. What a heart wrenching time Michalla has had and my heart is breaking to read all that she has been going through. As her mother I can't imagine how hard this must be and so hard for any parent to have to see their child go through all that she has gone through. Our love and prayers go out to you. I'm so glad that I got to meet Lilly's BFF once when up there visiting. She's a beautiful girl and has been such an inspiration to so many people. We love you Michalla and Teri our love and prayers go out to you for the faith and strength needed at this time.

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  4. Know that we all love you and are keeping you in our prayers! <3 <3 <3

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  5. So so so sorry! So hard, so incredibly hard! Thanks for letting us in on your intimate and difficult and emotional life!! We all gain so much from your sharing

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